So, I moved on and am going to play with ice. The manual isn't too scary, and I'd already be playing with it but the compile is taking ages. Maybe it won't suck ;)
I do enough ad-hoc data analysis with grok, it seems like a fun adventure to write some tool that accepts patterns and data input and gives you the results. Rather than reinvent the rpc wheel, it's probably worth learning a cross-platform rpc library.